Back on Track

Time to spend a day with God I reckon.

I woke up at 12.30pm, (so its more of an afternoon + evening with God) and decided earlier this week that there is a need to get back 'on track' with God.

I use those words carefully, because often we go through life and say "I've got to get right with God" or "I gotta get back on track" - it sometimes makes it seem that at some stages we feel we are completely 'right' or 'on track'. Whilst we can be at points where we are more God-directed and God-centred, we have to also keep in mind we'll never be 100% 'right' with God; we never spiritually 'arrive'.

It's a big problem I face - I go to church, I do all these outside of church activities like BSF, Grow Group etc. And this is the case for many MANY Christians today. And though we don't say it, we many a'time act like we have hit 'spiritual maturity' and act like we have it all together. It's not so much consciously saying "I'm all that", but more the lack of trying to grow, and lack of pushing and pursuing His heart and the lack of intentionally sharing God with those who are yet to know Him.

We have to acknowledge and truly be convicted that we are SO FAR REMOVED FROM GOD, and it's 100% about His grace. His unending love and how much He gave for us so we could experience true life and true freedom.

I don't mean that we never spiritually mature, mind you, but more that we never hit a point where we can say "Yep, done. I am now Christlike. Level up."

That in mind - over the holidays, with the lack of things to keep you 'in check' (everything going on break - like Grow group, BSF, youth leading etc), as much as the relationship with God should be enough motivation to have Him in our thoughts - often it's not. It's human to need things to do, like regular Bible studies and meeting with other Christians.

In fact, I really see a large portion of Christianity is to do with people. In fact, number one is God - that you 'love the Lord God with all your heart, mind and soul' - and the second? Love your neighbour.

So if it's all about people, then those weekly meetings with other Christians is vital! Sharing with others is vital!

SO, without these things, I've been less disciplined, less in focus, the prayer life became sporadic, the devotions came on and off, talking to Him and listening to Him and reading the Word became random and almost when I needed it - rather than a daily commitment.

Thus, to today - where I'm have a 'day with the Lord'.

Sometimes we can place a lot of emphasis on one event or day - like a conference, or an eastercamp or something like I'm doing today. And no doubt, great things can happen - miracles, visions, insane convictions.

But I'm not banking on that today!

If that's God's plan, sure, go nuts, Your will, not mine.

However, today is more about getting the right perspective. About the baby steps.

I had a prayer session just now, and what came to me was this idea of taking steps into wet cement, where your feet really sink in. In this hustle and bustle world, with things getting insanely fast-paced and people wanting things more and more and quicker and now, we often think that our walk with God is all about sprinting and getting to 'spiritual maturity' as fast as we can.

But I reckon that it's really about taking those firmly rooted, founded, deep steps with God. Planting your feet on solid rock and moving forward. It's far less obvious the progress you make, but over time, you can look back and realise "Oh wow, I've climbed that mountain? I've gone this far?"

So I prayed for that, that today would be a shift of perspective, a step in the right direction. Where the devil could try and push me over, but I'm firmly rooted and held by the God who loves me so. Much better than taking quick steps and rushing, only to be pushed over quickly because it was an emotional high and I'm not sinking deep into the foundation which is Christ.

Anyway, then I read the devotional and it read from James 1:4

"Let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be perfectly and fully developed, lacking in nothing" 

It carries on

"To be steadfast is to be stable; a steadfast person is steady, calm and even-tempered, no matter what happens. When we mature spiritually to the point that we can maintain a level of steadfastness, then we do not react to every little harassing thing the enemy sends against us. Regardless of what he hurls our we way, we will not be impressed, afraid, easily upset, we wil not give up and not be moved if we are steadfast"

In order to be steadfast and immovable, we must know God and know Him intimately. We must be able to hear His voice when the storms of life are swirling around us.

WOW. Talk about Holy Spirit moment.

That whole vision of taking firm, rooted steps with God, really could be summed up with this one word: Steadfastness.

So that's my prayer for you and me - that we can realign ourselves with Him. That we can get to know  Him intimately. And that we can begin taking solid, firmly planted steps, with the Lord, so that we are steadfast and do not waver when the devil sends things our way. It doesn't take an instant amazing, fantastic and miraculous bright light experience (although it does happen!), but more often than not, its those small but solid steps that take toward Him:

Try the typical Sunday School answers: Bible, Jesus, Prayer.
- Read the Bible more.
- Talk and share Jesus more.
- Pray more.

Easy, and yet, how often do you do all three? How regularly?

 

Sit down and rest.

So I hadn't been to Envisage in a while (the young adults service that 2G aka. NLEC aka. the old ECC, hold), because of sickness and this and that and busy-ness.

It so happened the week I could come back, their annual "Kingdom" night was on, where it starts a little later, and is a combined youth and young adults service with a guest speaker - its an event of praise and worship. Been a while since I've gone to something like that.

I ended up sending a blanket text to everyone, and got 2 interested parties, of which one Gabrielle Chea fell asleep and didn't come along, and the other Sarah Soon joined me.

Since I've been listening to the new 'Shakers and Hillsong albums (despite not being a fan of Planetshakers music style, I actually have found the heart of their songs to be really genuine - at least a different style to Hillsong), and I was quite at home - I reckon going to a service and knowing the songs lets you free up a little more.

Anyway, life has been fairly overwhelming. And since last week, I've been progressively getting sicker and sicker. I've missed out on commitments like Student Life and church meetings and stuff and I'm sort of out of it. But during the service, after the sermon, God kept telling me "Sit down and rest." over and over.

And God graciously gave me a little revelation. Despite how I've been spiritually, maybe a little dry, maybe a little aimless, always room for improvement - He showed me something that I felt was pretty cool.

Often we can sing, or pray to find 'rest in God'. But what does it mean?
It should be as easy as sitting down. Sitting down is a natural thing for humans to do. See a chair on the train? You're gonna go sit on it - not a second thought. It's pretty much an action that's in our nature.

We were created in God's image. It was natural for us to walk alongside God, as Adam and Eve did - but sin got in the way. That does not change a single thing about our nature though. We're still made in God's image. Still meant to be with God. And so, resting in God should be something that we can do by default.

But Ashley, its hard to rest in God when you've just been rejected, suffered loss, disappointment, hurt, pain and brokenness. Or if you have so much to do, how can I have time to rest when this needs to be done, then that, and then that other thing?

There's no stock standard answer. But, taking time to genuinely sit with God and hear from Him? Or sing to Him? Read the Bible and reflect? Those seem like good places to start. But the idea is to be intentionally seeking to rest in Him. And be assured, He'll support you - just like.. a chair does.

So, I sat down during the music and praised God from my seat. Heck, I didn't even sing sometimes and just listened and meditated on the words and who God is. It was so easy to do.

The other half to the revelation is that, have you ever gone on an airplane and sat for too long without stretching? There was a whole commotion about some guy that was hospitalised because he didn't move for the entire flight and got some Deep Vein Thrombosis (where blood clots up in your veins).

If we sit and do nothing for too long, the rest that we've gotten in the Lord, the rejuvenation and refreshment, we sort of reach a point where you start getting spiritual DVT.

There are a whole bunch of holes in this analogy - my brain is ticking over them. But message that I really got from this entire thing, in short, was this:

1) Intentionally seek rest in the Lord. Make time or else you get burnt out.
2) Know when to take action, to be proactive in your faith.

At the end of the day, its a balance of resting, seeking, and acting. It can be easy to get caught up on either end, where we're all about receiving and not giving, or vice versa.

overwhelmed.

Jubilee was the first Bible study I did after I recommitted to serving God with my life, earlier this year.
Never had I done a Bible study for that long, and it was a real period of growth and so much of it applied to my life, it was God-planned. He had my circumstance and my heart and mind in His control.

One of the first lessons was on Sabbath.

That God did not rest on the 7th day because He was tired.
He did it to reflect and enjoy creation.
He did it as a change of pace, something different, other than creating things.

To translate it into my day, I need to have Sabbath in my life, where I take a break from the busy things and just reflect and enjoy God and be thankful for the blessings I have.

Lately, I feel overwhelmed. Everything ahead of me is superduper daunting and just looming over me.
My life is packed to the brim with catching up with people, ministry commitments, church commitments, study.. just .. so much.
Maybe this is how I'm going to develop REAL organisation and REAL time-management.
Maybe this is also a time where I'll learn to REALLY give everything to God and properly rely on His strength.

Because honestly, right now, I don't think I can get through this with a heart driven by my own strength.
I want a heart that is driven by that unending love.

I WON!

YES I WON!

thats me with my new prize, an infringement notice from the Victorian Police of.. Victoria.

Thanks Senior Constable Travis Stephens.

But really, with this fine addition to my other awards such as High Distinctions, F.N. Northcott Trophy, this really tops them all.

..Okay sarcasm aside, it is pretty disappointing to get booked. Especially for one of those new (really tight) road regulations. This one was for doing a u-turn through a continuous line. 

Yeah, ridiculous. On top of that, its a whopping $234 fine and 2 demerit points.

What a great way to end BSF right =P

Especially when money is tight and .. like I realised why we cling to money - because earn it. It's one of those things you feel like you deserve and belongs to you.

So, I'm a little strapped for cash lately, keep delving into my savings account and that, and have been asking God and talking to Him about this attitude I've got. I've never been that worried about cash, about spending on others and stuff - but lately I've been really really worried about money and how much I've got.

But with losing (and finding) my wallet the other week and this incident today, funny enough, God revealed a message to me, even in this frustrating situation.

BSF, John 11 was talking about how Mary and Martha had to deal with the death of Lazarus. But Jesus said that Lazarus death was to glorify God, much like the healing of the blind man (John 9).

God allows pain and suffering, often because in situations of hopelessness, God's power is most tangible.

So I suppose this.. disappointment, allowed God to manifest Himself.

I was asking God (when the lights were flashing behind me, making me feel like such a criminal) for grace and also what He wanted to show me out of this. And though there was a lot of disappointment 10 minutes ago, I've sort of nailed it on the head.

The fact that I am ABLE to pay $234. The fact that I can drive a car, and own that car. 

If you get my train of thought - The fact that I have a computer and can blog this using the internet, all these are signs of the reality that I am richer than 75% of the world.

There are countless people living in poverty, who cannot read, who don't even know if they will survive the night. 

So, in terms of material wealth, the lesson to draw from this is simply: Be Thankful.

"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness" - Colossians 2:6-8

So yeah. God is sufficient as He is. Disappointing as this infringement may be, I'm glad to be endlessly blessed.

He actually lives and responds!

So I've been off facebook for 5 days now. I really want to know what's going on in the world, how many new comments or photos have been posted, events coming up, wall posts, I want to tell the world about what I'm doing - even if no one cares. I want someone to LIKE something I'm doing.


Apparently though, I'm not addicted (at least, according to this massively credible .. internet survey)

1. You lose sleep over Facebook

"If you're staying up late at night because you're on Facebook, and you're tired the next day, Facebook may be a compulsion for you," Lipari said. "You shouldn't be neglecting yourself because of Facebook."

2. You spend more than an hour a day on Facebook

Pile says it's hard to pinpoint exactly how much is too much time to be spending on social networking.

"I can't imagine that anyone would need more than an hour a day on Facebook, and probably no one needs more than 30 minutes," she said.

3. You become obsessed with old loves

Reconnecting with old friends is one of the great attractions of Facebook, and there's nothing necessarily wrong with "friending" an old boyfriend or girlfriend. But Pile warns that it can get out of hand very quickly.

"One of my clients met up with an old boyfriend on Facebook. They started spending hours and hours into the night talking to each other on Facebook. She made some really inappropriate comments about how unhappy she was in her marriage," Pile said. "Her cousin saw the comments and told her parents, and the parents told the husband, and now they're in the process of getting divorced."

4. You ignore work in favor of Facebook

"If you're not doing your job in order to sneak time on Facebook, you could have a real problem," Lipari said.

5. The thought of getting off Facebook leaves you in a cold sweat

Sarah Browne, who writes the Guru of New blog, gave up Facebook for Lent last month when she realized that she had a "mild" addiction to the site.


Of all these things, I have.. zero. Unless you include being constantly on Facebook "more than an hour of Facebook". But I'm not primarily on Facebook, I'm always 'studying' or chatting or youtub-ing or eating or.. multitasking.


Ideally I would be studying, but thats a different story. 
Very glad that I am not addicted though :)

Short of that, God has been nothing but amazing lately (though what am I saying, He always has been).


Started a new devotion book "Hearing from God Each Morning" By Joyce Meyer (and despite it's girly look it is a unisex book thank you very much.)

Getting into this whole Bible study routine and giving God my time and focus has been super rewarding!
Despite being raised in a Christian family, quiet time has never been a priority or a routine. It just lacked.


So really spending time with the Creator has been incredibly refreshing, and I love it!
Not only that, but coincidentally (more like, choreographed by God), each of my devo's have been directly related to the events of my day. Not like, "oh yeah, I guess that COULD mean that its related to my friendship problems", and twisting the message to suit me. Instead, if a primary school kid had a diary of my life and a calendar, they could draw the direct link between the chunks of wisdom and comfort that God has been giving me through Meyer's devo book.


Example:


June 11th - Talked about hearing from God and tangibly getting a message of wisdom or knowledge from God. I had an exam that day.



June 12th - Talked about Abraham and how "no disbelief or distrust made him waver, but instead he grew strong and was empowered by faith as he gave praise and glory to God". I had actually begun to start doubting and losing a little bit of steam since Jubilee the night before. Also exams sort of pull you away from God a little.


June 16th - So, I'd been literally learning. Not cramming. Learning. For the first time, Business Finance. In 1 and a half days, I tried to learn the entire course. Today was the day of the exam. And I was utterly exhausted, physically and mentally, and exceedingly stressed.
What did today's devo talk about? "The Source of Your Strength". All I did was smile and pray and everything left me. I honestly believe it was God's peace and comfort coming over me, but it was also a combination of the "there's not much more I can learn, I've hit a wall" resignation.


At the same time, I've been having this nagging question of how to love others. And through BSF and studying John, through reading "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris, listening to sermons about Evangelism, and through prayer, God keeps repeating the message that it comes back to the cross - the life and death and resurrection of Christ. To love like He did, through his actions and sacrifice that He made for us. That's how to love.


And God has really engraved that into my mind and heart lately, "THIS is how to love, Ashley".


So definitely something I have to try and work at, persistently, everyday - to love humbly, and serve everyone around me.


What a great God though, worth my time, my effort, my life, because He gave His for mine.




Continually thankful,


Ash

it changes everything.

So I finished my 50 day Bible study, "Jubilee" and I've got to say that the past 50 days really HAVE brought about spiritual renewal!


God took the study and my life circumstances, and caused them to align PERFECTLY. Whether the focus for the week was Redemption, Forgiveness, Healing, Sabbath, Justice or Proclamation, I can't explain how each of those topics and verses and studies came at the exact time when I needed to be refreshed, challenged or comforted.

Wow.

I was looking for a new book and stumbled on this one called "Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God" by a pastor by the name of Francis Chan. Must be good if its by a Chan right? :)

But theres a few lines in the blurb that caught my eye, and I really want to read and reflect on what this pastor has to say;

"God is calling you to a passionate love relationship with Himself. Because the answer to religious complacency isn’t working harder at a list of do’s and don’ts—it’s falling in love with God. And once you encounter His love, as Francis describes it, you will never be the same. Because when you’re wildly in love with someone, it changes everything."


Even though God has really shown that He is a living and responsive God these past weeks, I constantly find that my actions aren't pleasing to Him.


And I've been asking myself, "WHY am I doing this.. WHY did I say that... WHY am I thinking that?"
And I've come to the conclusion that I've somewhat lost the spirit of thanksgiving and humility that we should have, knowing who the Creator is, and the incredible sacrifice and love that He's shown to you and me.


At the very root of it, is that I'm not wildly in love with God. Many areas of my life are still dominated by self-interest! 


I can understand why 'when you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything' - from a human perspective, when a husband and wife, or even girlfriend and boyfriend love one another - their lives completely change! 


Their entire schedules get altered to spend as much time as possible with one another. They constantly talk, and give to one another and have each other in their thoughts.


And for a God that has loved us infinitely more, He is someone I need to strive to be with, and someone that I need to be willing to flip head over heels in love with. I want to experience and respond to this love that changes everything.


I'll have to hit up Koorong or Word this week anyway, because Josh, Jeff and Jesse are getting baptised.
Words can't even express the joy that comes from knowing this - I'm so excited for these three young men of God :)

2 Samuel 24:24

"I will not sacrifice to the LORD my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing."

Incredible

Sermon 4-27-08 Nick Vujicic from Highlands Church on Vimeo.

He never fails

When we sin, we should be quick to address it and confess! Don't beat yourself up senseless with guilt and depression - that is how satan gains a hold on our lives, through those feelings.

Although we should feel guilty for sinning, and that we have failed our God, realise that YOU have been saved and redeemed by His death.

At the same time, we shouldn't brush it off so quickly that the effect and consequences of our sin are dulled - taking our victory in Christ for granted.

We have to strike a balance!

Be truly convicted, then confess earnestly, then be motivated, and eager to please God, and  - and give Him control of that area or that particular sin. Rely on His strength, not your own.

Satan only attacks us and tempts us when we are moving closer to our Lord - so rejoice that the devil finds your pursuit and desire to submit to God a threat!

Don't give in, but rely even more upon His strength - because He never fails.

Ever.

Three Things.

God has spoken so clearly these past few days, despite slipping up and being sometimes caught up in sin, He's used the mistakes as ways to express His voice even clearer:

First, was to know that as a basis for all things, that 'He chose to save us, before we chose to believe in Him.'

Nothing that happens through our faith, is due to us. It's because of God's willingness to save, to move, to heal, to empower, to inspire, to respond, that things happen; that lives are changed.

Second, follows from that, again a humbling message that 'I can only rely on His strength, and not my own - for by myself, I am nothing.' 

Too often we try to bridge gaps, or conquer sin, or be someone through our own strength and acts. We believe that in doing quiet time and reading the Bible or going to church, that the church will then grow, or we will be rewarded. We're then destined to fail, one way or another, if we rely on our own acts.

God doesn't owe us anything.

When we actually realise that we are weak without Him, that we falter on our own, and that He is a God that never fails, that is when God moves and the things we do come to fruition. Only through His power, and relying on His strength.

Third, was that 'when we step out (in faith), He steps in'. 

So though nothing happens out of our own accord and own strength and will, when we acknowledge who's ultimately behind it all and have that sense of humility, we don't sit and passively watch and expect God to move.

We ourselves have to take the step.

So reading the Bible to someone with the mindset that "I'm gonna convert this guy", won't get you anywhere.

But reading the Bible to someone with the heart attitude that "God would you move, and use me, because nothing I do matters unless you're behind it" will move mountains. 

Regardless, they both involve an action our behalf - so we need to step out in terms of our actions, our voice, our music, art, quiet time, prayer, commitment - we need to step OUT of our comfort zone, so God can step in and meet our expectation of His power and strength.

I've been so blessed, and motivated by these things, so thanks goes to Him for this new perspective.

forgive

Forgiveness is to choose love over hate towards others.
Forgiveness is to choose love over our own pride.
Forgiveness is to choose love over resentment against another.
Forgiveness is to choose love over deep pain.
Forgiveness is to choose love over our circumstance.
Forgiveness is to choose love over being hurt - even if the other person is completely oblivious to the amount of pain another has dealt to you.
Forgiveness is to completely choose love.

After a talk with a good friend, who's been really hurting over the past few years, something in me moved. I was filled up with this passion, to really flesh out their problem.
I felt like they were either trying to be a hero, or being a coward and giving a half-hearted 'forgiveness'.
As harsh as that may sound, the concept is simple:

When there is anger or hurt between brothers in Christ, God doesn't want us to partially forgive one another. He doesn't want us to let go of some of the bitterness, but hold on to the rest; He doesn't want us to sort of accept and move on, but maybe kind of cling to the pain that was caused.
He commands us, to completely and wholly love one another:

"A new command I give you; Love one another. As I have loved you, love one another." - John 13:34

 Another verse I find incredibly powerful:

"...have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart." - 1 Peter 1:22 

They were on the verge of starting that process of forgiveness, but I felt this urgency to make sure that it wasn't the path to a half-hearted forgiveness, but forgiveness that was motivated by "sincere love for your brothers".

There comes a point, after an unknowable amount of time, where blows to your pride, emotional pain, heartbreak and hurt need to be let go of. Regardless of how much you want the offender to suffer punishment, or feel your pain, there comes a point where the demand of punishment needs to cease (or else it becomes unhealthy).

The drive behind this, for me, is that God chose to love us, despite the fact that we sinned and deserve death. That we disobeyed the one who, out of His own love and will, created us with free-will - in His image.
On top of that, some of these situations that arise, though painful, are relatively nothing compared to what occurs on elsewhere in this world.

Of course, the love that God asks for isn't some ignorant, naive, I'm-a-doormat, trample-on-me, happy-go-lucky love. Love does not always mean that you get along with people that you have disputes with.

You've got to be perceptive and see the situation as it is (which is hard when emotions and pain cloud your judgement eh)

It means that you view them as a fellow human being who makes mistakes, and that you let go of what they did to you, move on and pursuing the best possible outcome that can be reached between you and the other party. (Easier said than done, I know - more than you know)

It could mean approaching them, and making sure they know how much you were hurt - without lecturing, but still firmly letting them know (and having them acknowledge) that what they did actually had an impact upon you. It could mean slowly letting go of a sour friendship and letting time and maturity take effect.


I believe God shows us different ways to deal with each situation - there's no stock standard solution.

So, where to from here?
Choose love.

LIFE

I can't connect during worship nowadays.


I'll just miss this week's Bible study, it'll be on next week anyway.


I'll do my quiet time tomorrow, I'm sort of tired now.


It's okay if I get there late, its only the worship songs at the start anyhow.

I'll slip up now, and just ask for forgiveness later.


This is too painful, why God? Why are you doing this to me?!



All symptoms of someone who potentially could be forgetting who God is.
I'm talking about when we start going, "Oh yeah, God is that great, awesome, mighty, powerful guy"

When we need more of a, "God IS GREAT. He's AWESOME."
Fact is, we often forget how deserving and worthy of our entire LIVES that He is.

When we sin, we forget who God is, we lose focus and we fail to realise that - although the sin may be 'small' - our lives should constantly be surrendered to our Creator.

At that very moment, we chose ourselves, our desires, our reputation and the world - rather than Him.

I often need a reality check, and reminders of who God is. That He is eternal, Counselor, my Hope, Jehova.. and that He's completely alive today.

So I sin, and I'm condemned to death. Like, eternal death. How discouraging!

There is light at the end of the tunnel however. And through this light, is why we realise that God is so worthy of our lives!

It's the story that everyone knows: Jesus Christ gave His LIFE. Like imagine dying, right now. Yep. No more university, or that career, or your girlfriend/boyfriend, or parents.

No more thinking. No more emotions. No more fame or fortune. Just.. death. Goneskies.

Jesus faced that, and left this world, then came back. I can't imagine how terrified He was, giving himself over to the soldiers so easily, and then being hammered into the cross.
But at the same time, His trust was in someone so much greater than life on earth - and through His death, we have a way out of those sins that condemn us to eternal death.

He gave His LIFE to save ours.

His LIFE.

Next time, think about that - when you're torn between yourself and God.
He's worth your time, your voice, your talent, your devotion.
I'm pretty sure He deserves everything we have - our LIVES :)

His loving kindness

So, despite falling into procrastination and complacency even though I've had new year's resolutions to get back on track (and I HAVE been sort of fulfilling it), God is still working and moving in my life, and I am so grateful for His grace and kindness!

Started the year, bought the Bible study 'Jubilee' and haven't started it STILL - so a fail so far.
Have been praying a little more, but I should be just giving time constantly to Him whenever I can - and quiet time each day would also aid in that - so a fail still.
Been taking notes and absorbing the messages we've had at church - and they've been good! So success in that regard.

Chloe asked me to come to 3C (Christian City Church) to this Jesus Culture conference. As I was free tonight, I agreed.

Then satan tried to kick in.
1) I haven't been to a pumpy, shouty sort of church event in ages. Haven't been to Planetshakers or Hillsong style things in maybe 2 years. So this conference night rally was somewhat daunting - and I kind of had a bit of hesitance.
2) I had work this morning, and was really tired.
3) I had to 'take care' of SA guests
4) I have work tomorrow at 8am
5) My skin started peeling from the sunburn, and I felt socially awkward and don't like going out when I'm not as radiant as usual.
6) Apart from Chloe and Sharon, didn't really know anyone there.

So, naturally I sort of didn't want to go - but I made a commitment (thank God I did) and so begins this testimony of an awesome night.

Past few weeks we've been playing futsal a lot - and that put a strain on my right leg, in some unstretchable "mysterious region" (groin/thigh area).
So much to the point where after maybe 20/30 minutes of just walking around (at work or at a shopping centre) I would be in such pain that I'd be limping and need to take a break/sit down.
Can't explain to you how ridiculous the pain was, seriously.

Come tonight, during worship, prior to the message, one of the speakers talked about Elijah and how he was against the prophets of Baal in a challenge to prove the power of their god. (1 Kings 18:16)
How Elijah absolutely SOAKED the altar in water, creating an impossible situation where God could tangibly prove His power and existence.
How God responded with fire, engulfing the altar and the Baal worshippers then realising the true God:

³⁹ When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, "The LORD -he is God! The LORD -he is God!

And an idea (more like a nudge from heaven) sort of came to me (my leg was starting to play up from standing too long) - to just present my pain to God and although it might seem impossible, just give it to Him and let the problem be engulfed and transformed by Him.

I started to sing whilst only standing on the pained leg, and even when others were sitting down during the worship and I was aching a little, I decided to keep standing - on two feet or just one.
I felt like this was the equivalent of soaking my altar in a sense; like saying "God, I'm actually putting strain on my leg, and it wouldn't be likely for my leg to get better if there is stress on it".

And then by the end of the music session, no pain. There's a certain position that I can bend in which really hurts my leg, and that no longer hurt when I did it (it looks real awkward though).

In my head though, I thought, "Maybe it'll come back tomorrow.. so I won't tell anyone about it"

that is called UNBELIEF (its not a cool thing by the way, that unbelief stuff..)

What we need is FAITH, even if there is a sliver of doubt, continue putting the situation in God's hands.

So when the speaker started talking about healing, and talking about all these crazy stories about people growing back small joints, overcoming asthma and dyslexia or rising up from wheelchairs - God is awesome, and does these things, no doubt - but I just felt like it was a distant story. Like, it sounds nice but, I have never had that impact before.

Then the guy was like "Does anyone want to pray now?" - and started naming specific ailments - sports related injuries, asthma, joint related etc. And ALSO saying "How can you test it?" - so it was tangible that there was a change. And things happened, and people were coming up to the stage testifying about healings all around.

So then I eventually decided to tell Chloe that God had worked in my prior to the mesage, but I wasn't entirely sure - might wait it out. She kept on bugging me (God working through her) to go up and share with everyone, but I didn't feel it was necessary.

Kept bugging me.. and then I resigned and went up. And told a fairly good, confident testimony.

I can't recall EXACTLY what Chloe said that convinced me, but it was something about how going up on stage and overcoming this fear/complacency, might speak not only to others, but to me as well - confirm and reaffirm my faith, and to help get rid of my unbelief.

I encouraged people to get up and share, and not be scared or lazy, because its awesome and rewarding and, she was right, it did help me overcome my unbelief.

And thats it - God healed me tonight and He's still speaking to me, even right now.

At the end of the 1 Kings passage with Elijah, the people cried out and worshipped God.

I had soaked my altar, and given it to God. He had come down and healed me (equivalent of the fire) and the final bit was the people crying out.

I just realised whilst writing this that the entire passage relates to my experience tonight! Because of my testimony, (glory to God :) people had slightly more confidence and trust and belief in God. It might have been the nudge for someone to go up on to stage and in turn encourage others through their own testament of healing. It might have even pushed someone to end up 'falling prostrate and crying out - The Lord; He is God!'

It was definitely Him working, because it wasn't spurred by the healing message, and actually happened prior to the message (which I had no clue was the topic of tonight), and its more confirmation that it wasn't just me convincing myself there was no pain, but it was actually the healing power of the Spirit.

Thanks God for being so powerful, but also being so loving and kind to bless me, and everyone else tonight with a glimpse of your healing capacity.

hallelujah

Hallelujah (Hebrew הַלְּלוּיָהּ, Standard Halleluya,Tiberian Halləlûyāh) is a Hebrew word meaning "Praise Yahweh". It is an exclamation used chiefly in songs of praise or thanksgiving to God, and as an expression of gratitude or adoration.

thanks wikipedia :)

but that's it! whenever you sing or exclaim hallelujah, back in the times where that word came about, it was more than a word, but something from the heart.

its a great word - sometimes we sing it to a nice tune but have no idea what it means - its a word that completely is about God.

Praise involves love, thanks, respect, fear, awe and bowing to Him. To me praising God openly is such a gift and blessing, and to be able to shout 'hallelujah' freely, anywhere, is something that many of us take for granted.

Hallelujah that with this new year, I'm refocusing upon what I wanted to do when this blog started.

Popped down to Word today, and got the Hillsong 'Faith+Hope+Love' DVD/CD and am LOVING some of the songs.

And also got a Bible study for the next 50 days called "Jubilee - A Season of Spiritual Revival" - I'm pretty sure its going to be incredible.

Hallelujah :)

compromise

is our worst enemy.

we initially aim high, to complete a project at a certain standard, an assignment, or to become better friends with someone or to help someone out.

Then when the going gets tough, often we take what we convince ourselves to be the 'realistic' approach, and accept the job, the effort and work, at half rate rather than persevering and striving for the fullest.

We compromise our goals, and what we initially had planned, dreamed and strived to achieve, for something far less.

Often we think:
"They won't die if I don't do it to that higher standard"
"They weren't expecting it"
"I don't need it that much anyway"
"I passed, thats all that matters - I don't need to go any higher"

Sometimes we this often even leads to us believing that people don't deserve, or did not expect anything more than we gave.

This is pretty common with God. Sometimes we'll think that one quiet time a week is what he expects or deserves.
Or sometimes we'll say "Here God, $10 bucks is how much you deserve" (not directly saying that, but our actions sometimes ultimately actually spell exactly that)
Or attend church once a week and make the call that its enough.
Or "Hey God, I'm going to marry this person and then try and bring them to you"

When we have fallen into this trap of offering a compromise of different areas of our lives to God, we have forgotten two things:
1) We've taken the situation into our own hands and decided that we know what He deserves, when He actually deserves our ALL.
2) We've forgotten to begin each of our decisions with Him at the very foundation and base.

Pray first!
God, help me spend more time with you.
God, show me how much I should give to you, so that I am humbled and you are magnified and pleased.
God, allow me to give more than just my Sunday's to you.
God, show me the best way to approach this relationship, that would please you.

I realised, that despite saying "I Surrender All", to God, or asking Him to "Take All Of Me", I have so many areas that I haven't actually offered for the taking in the first place.

My point is simply this:
It is easy to give my Sunday, 9.00am's to God - I've been doing it all my life.
So in some sense, I give my time to God.
But I don't spend enough time in the Word, or in prayer.
COMPROMISE
The voice in the back of my head says 'its okay, you've got lots of time to work on that'

It is easy to pray for my career, or education, or relationships, after I've made a decision based on my own feelings.
So I do give my career and relationships to God in some sense.
But in having made the first step, of selecting Commerce, or pursuing a girl, were they God driven and based on Biblical guidance?
Kind of not.
COMPROMISE
The voice in the back of my head says 'your education and career is all about what you enjoy. Girlfriends are about who you like, go for it!'

its all based on the I.

at the end of the day, we should aim to PLEASE GOD.


Consult Him about everything.
Wait on Him.
Wait on Him some more.
Confirm with Him.
and Do what he wants you to do, to the fullest.


I've compromised what I thought would be enough for God, all over my life. Reading the Word and listening to others has helped me realised that a truly God centred life means EVERY aspect is worked to the highest point, and that we have to look at each situation and assess whether we've done what He's commanded to do in the Bible.

YEP!
Merry Christmas all!

We all fall short

When you are caught up in the hype of hearing God and having a revelation, it builds us up for (sometimes) a bigger fall.

Other times, we just forget that we are human and we make mistakes and will always fall short of the glory of God. None of us are perfect, and none of us will ever reach a place of perfect spirituality and Christlikeness.

HOWEVER, it is no excuse, and when we do trip up and put God down a few notches and give Him a compromise of our lives, rather than the full thing, we need to recognise this and genuinely ask for His forgiveness, and that we be refined by this shortfall.

That is why we never surrender just once to God, but we constantly need to keep surrendering parts of our lives to Him, and constantly give more and more to Him.

We're self-centred, but that doesn't get us out of the fact that God deserves our all. When we do forget about our Creator and how much He deserves - and we realise that we get distracted - we've got to time, and time again come back to Him and ask for a more persevering, faithful spirit and attitude, constantly seeking self control and discipline, and revolving around an attitude to please Him.

God, if I failed you today, I pray that You'll forgive me, help me get up and move ahead, stronger and with a more determined and faithful heart.

On a lighter note,

I'm pretty proud of this photo :D

the thing about spiritual highs.

Its quite scary, but we hardly realise the battle that is going on for each of our souls - between good and evil. To me, it honestly sounds so far-fetched and storybook-like that I don't really understand and can't properly comprehend the fact that we're smack in the middle of the biggest war since creation.

And so, just when we feel like we're moving in the right direction and have the upper-hand, we get bombarded by doubts, laziness, complacency and things that draw us away from putting our full trust in God.

Right now, thats me - I'm so torn right now, between what God wants and what I want.

Even after one night of just confirmation, confirmation, confirmation that God is working things in my life, straight after a spiritual high and feeling that I'm back on track, I'm struggling!

I want to keep my life in my own hands because I'm sure of my own power.
I don't want to put it in God's hands because I'm not sure of His power, and I don't entirely have my faith in Him.

I don't want to put my life in his hands because I feel insecure and I'm moving to the passenger seat and letting God take the wheel.

When it comes down to it, its actually satan doing his thing - planting doubts, making me afraid of the future and making it seem that trusting myself is much easier, and that its not so bad if compromise what I give to God.

I can't explain how frustrating this is.

I suppose when you're in this situation, you can only pray.

We need to place ourselves into His hands, despite how scary the future might be, and how things might not work out as we want them to, and how much hurt and pain could potentially be ahead.

But we've got to look further, and realise that this is the way to be obedient and ultimately please God.

So God, I'm asking you to take this situation into Your hands, take the person(s) involved, take my feelings and negative thoughts, my worries and uncertainties away and just simply take control.

YAY!

First post since forever!

New layout and everything - because the past few weeks have been fairly up and down.

For who knows how long, I feel like I haven't been growing like I should be, with God. Like, there's the busy-ness of life, starting uni, finding new friends, the drama of feelings, assignments, exams, holidays - so much to the point that (although we mention it all the time), we forget about God and where His place should be in our lives.

I have not been on track - and did not expect to be where I am right now, with this mindset and 'heartset', if it were not for God just having a hand in my life.

Who would have thought that Julie's innocent 19th birthday, in which she asked Steph and I to chuck together some songs for a "Chill Night In with Julie", would lead to me placing a new emphasis on my faith?

Who knew that night at 1-something in the morning, after the songs and party were all over, that God would speak through Steph and give me the wake up call that I've been needing for a long time? Seriously, a godsend, no doubt about it.

Who knew that the next day, that I would work out with one of my closest friends, a solution to a situation that we've had with one another for ages - a solution that was completely God centred and got rid of the frustrating dilemmas that were facing us both.

God has showed me a glimpse of Himself just in 2 days, and I know I prayed for it in passing one night a few weeks ago. I was expectant then, but forgot over time, and only JUST realised that He answered my prayer.

He's working ! Like right there, and calling it all coincidence would be plain ignorant.

And this is only the beginning.

I've been going along keeping stuff under my own control and committing very little to Him. In particular, relationships, but overall.. everything. I haven't had a solid quiet time or prayer routine ...ever. Longest I've done a quiet time consistently was like 4 months max.

If you want to get anything out of this post, it's this:

KEY POINT: We need to surrender EVERYTHING to Him. Not some half-hearted, wishy-washy 'commitment' where we give a couple words to God, don't listen for an answer, and just follow our own human feelings and emotions.

I mean like being COMPLETELY obedient to God, two hands up, on our knees, giving up our LIVES for Him, like He gave his life to teach and help others, and ultimately save us from sin.

Giving every aspect, whether it be relationships, friendships, careers, education, money, time, our prayers, praises, dance, art - every single part of our lives.

Where pleasing God is of top priority, and only thing that we want to do.

And this 'heart-set' (not just mindset) doesn't come overnight mind you.
To get to that place of complete surrender is gonna take me a long time - I'm only getting back on track. That's why all I need is to have a kingdom perspective and a persevering heart - I'm going to get through this no matter what, by looking at life from above, rather than from down here, and placing my trust in Him.

Faith is a choice, and I choose to believe :)

Where The Love Lasts Forever

And forever I will sing,

Lord forever I will sing,

How you gave your life for me

Just to save me .. just to save me.

Someday..

It's been a while since I've blogged (quite a cliche term when you think about it, eh?).

But yeah, I've been blogging on the First Year Uni of Melbourne website and just been busy with uni and really couldn't be bothered maintaining two blogs at once.

But I can't really vent this anywhere else.

I just woke up and for some reason went to the Hillsong United I Heart Revolution website, which led me to the I Heart Revolution Myspace. Then I watched one of their songs done on the I Heart tour, 'Take It All'. It's here if you haven't seen it:

All I wanted to say was that hearing a song (and strange thing is I've listened to this and others like this many times) from thousands of people in a completely different language, moves me on an entirely new level. I believe music is so powerful, it has the power to cross political barriers, cultural barriers, language barriers and reveal a heart of worship and praise that is far bigger and more thriving than the belittled image in our minds.

We sometimes pray (rather habitually) about how 'We're worshipping with millions of other people all around the world', but for me, it takes this sort of thing to realise only a glimpse of how awesome it is to be worshipping with the global church.

If you're feeling a little bit insignificant, stressed, broken, annoyed, disappointed here's a verse.

2 Corinthians 1:3-9

The God of All Comfort

 ³Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,⁴who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. ⁵For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. ⁶If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. ⁷And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

The story behind this verse is quite cool, and motivates me today. In a nutshell, I was going through probably the most emotional and dramatic time of my life (as of yet). To get away from the people and life in Melbourne, I went to Crossway's youth, Deeper (now Surge) camp. There was 5 days of getting away and meeting completely new people and just being able to relax. The final night (as in most cases) is usually the biggest and most pumped up. This camp was no different, but I wasn't as into the crying and insaneness as I would usually be. But during the worship, not a climatic bit but just a soft bit, in my head was the most vivid image. It was just a white background and 2 Corinthians 1:3. Clear as day and it wouldn't go away. (lyrical miracle) So later that night I checked it and it happened to be all about comfort - something that I was really searching for at that time.

And I can't deny that it was His doing, because I've never read that verse in my entire life. I wasn't looking to God for comfort at the time, I was looking to new friends and time away from my normal life for comfort. It brought me back to not what I needed, but Who. 

So yeah, thats it. Oh and if you don't mind, comment or tagboard something! Bloggers actually enjoy knowing that someone reads their ramble, no matter if its 2 years after writing their speel.