the thing about spiritual highs.

Its quite scary, but we hardly realise the battle that is going on for each of our souls - between good and evil. To me, it honestly sounds so far-fetched and storybook-like that I don't really understand and can't properly comprehend the fact that we're smack in the middle of the biggest war since creation.

And so, just when we feel like we're moving in the right direction and have the upper-hand, we get bombarded by doubts, laziness, complacency and things that draw us away from putting our full trust in God.

Right now, thats me - I'm so torn right now, between what God wants and what I want.

Even after one night of just confirmation, confirmation, confirmation that God is working things in my life, straight after a spiritual high and feeling that I'm back on track, I'm struggling!

I want to keep my life in my own hands because I'm sure of my own power.
I don't want to put it in God's hands because I'm not sure of His power, and I don't entirely have my faith in Him.

I don't want to put my life in his hands because I feel insecure and I'm moving to the passenger seat and letting God take the wheel.

When it comes down to it, its actually satan doing his thing - planting doubts, making me afraid of the future and making it seem that trusting myself is much easier, and that its not so bad if compromise what I give to God.

I can't explain how frustrating this is.

I suppose when you're in this situation, you can only pray.

We need to place ourselves into His hands, despite how scary the future might be, and how things might not work out as we want them to, and how much hurt and pain could potentially be ahead.

But we've got to look further, and realise that this is the way to be obedient and ultimately please God.

So God, I'm asking you to take this situation into Your hands, take the person(s) involved, take my feelings and negative thoughts, my worries and uncertainties away and just simply take control.