Sunday, February 28, 2010

LIFE

I can't connect during worship nowadays.


I'll just miss this week's Bible study, it'll be on next week anyway.


I'll do my quiet time tomorrow, I'm sort of tired now.


It's okay if I get there late, its only the worship songs at the start anyhow.

I'll slip up now, and just ask for forgiveness later.


This is too painful, why God? Why are you doing this to me?!



All symptoms of someone who potentially could be forgetting who God is.
I'm talking about when we start going, "Oh yeah, God is that great, awesome, mighty, powerful guy"

When we need more of a, "God IS GREAT. He's AWESOME."
Fact is, we often forget how deserving and worthy of our entire LIVES that He is.

When we sin, we forget who God is, we lose focus and we fail to realise that - although the sin may be 'small' - our lives should constantly be surrendered to our Creator.

At that very moment, we chose ourselves, our desires, our reputation and the world - rather than Him.

I often need a reality check, and reminders of who God is. That He is eternal, Counselor, my Hope, Jehova.. and that He's completely alive today.

So I sin, and I'm condemned to death. Like, eternal death. How discouraging!

There is light at the end of the tunnel however. And through this light, is why we realise that God is so worthy of our lives!

It's the story that everyone knows: Jesus Christ gave His LIFE. Like imagine dying, right now. Yep. No more university, or that career, or your girlfriend/boyfriend, or parents.

No more thinking. No more emotions. No more fame or fortune. Just.. death. Goneskies.

Jesus faced that, and left this world, then came back. I can't imagine how terrified He was, giving himself over to the soldiers so easily, and then being hammered into the cross.
But at the same time, His trust was in someone so much greater than life on earth - and through His death, we have a way out of those sins that condemn us to eternal death.

He gave His LIFE to save ours.

His LIFE.

Next time, think about that - when you're torn between yourself and God.
He's worth your time, your voice, your talent, your devotion.
I'm pretty sure He deserves everything we have - our LIVES :)

Friday, January 22, 2010

His loving kindness

So, despite falling into procrastination and complacency even though I've had new year's resolutions to get back on track (and I HAVE been sort of fulfilling it), God is still working and moving in my life, and I am so grateful for His grace and kindness!

Started the year, bought the Bible study 'Jubilee' and haven't started it STILL - so a fail so far.
Have been praying a little more, but I should be just giving time constantly to Him whenever I can - and quiet time each day would also aid in that - so a fail still.
Been taking notes and absorbing the messages we've had at church - and they've been good! So success in that regard.

Chloe asked me to come to 3C (Christian City Church) to this Jesus Culture conference. As I was free tonight, I agreed.

Then satan tried to kick in.
1) I haven't been to a pumpy, shouty sort of church event in ages. Haven't been to Planetshakers or Hillsong style things in maybe 2 years. So this conference night rally was somewhat daunting - and I kind of had a bit of hesitance.
2) I had work this morning, and was really tired.
3) I had to 'take care' of SA guests
4) I have work tomorrow at 8am
5) My skin started peeling from the sunburn, and I felt socially awkward and don't like going out when I'm not as radiant as usual.
6) Apart from Chloe and Sharon, didn't really know anyone there.

So, naturally I sort of didn't want to go - but I made a commitment (thank God I did) and so begins this testimony of an awesome night.

Past few weeks we've been playing futsal a lot - and that put a strain on my right leg, in some unstretchable "mysterious region" (groin/thigh area).
So much to the point where after maybe 20/30 minutes of just walking around (at work or at a shopping centre) I would be in such pain that I'd be limping and need to take a break/sit down.
Can't explain to you how ridiculous the pain was, seriously.

Come tonight, during worship, prior to the message, one of the speakers talked about Elijah and how he was against the prophets of Baal in a challenge to prove the power of their god. (1 Kings 18:16)
How Elijah absolutely SOAKED the altar in water, creating an impossible situation where God could tangibly prove His power and existence.
How God responded with fire, engulfing the altar and the Baal worshippers then realising the true God:

39 When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, "The LORD -he is God! The LORD -he is God!

And an idea (more like a nudge from heaven) sort of came to me (my leg was starting to play up from standing too long) - to just present my pain to God and although it might seem impossible, just give it to Him and let the problem be engulfed and transformed by Him.

I started to sing whilst only standing on the pained leg, and even when others were sitting down during the worship and I was aching a little, I decided to keep standing - on two feet or just one.
I felt like this was the equivalent of soaking my altar in a sense; like saying "God, I'm actually putting strain on my leg, and it wouldn't be likely for my leg to get better if there is stress on it".

And then by the end of the music session, no pain. There's a certain position that I can bend in which really hurts my leg, and that no longer hurt when I did it (it looks real awkward though).

In my head though, I thought, "Maybe it'll come back tomorrow.. so I won't tell anyone about it"

that is called UNBELIEF (its not a cool thing by the way, that unbelief stuff..)

What we need is FAITH, even if there is a sliver of doubt, continue putting the situation in God's hands.

So when the speaker started talking about healing, and talking about all these crazy stories about people growing back small joints, overcoming asthma and dyslexia or rising up from wheelchairs - God is awesome, and does these things, no doubt - but I just felt like it was a distant story. Like, it sounds nice but, I have never had that impact before.

Then the guy was like "Does anyone want to pray now?" - and started naming specific ailments - sports related injuries, asthma, joint related etc. And ALSO saying "How can you test it?" - so it was tangible that there was a change. And things happened, and people were coming up to the stage testifying about healings all around.

So then I eventually decided to tell Chloe that God had worked in my prior to the mesage, but I wasn't entirely sure - might wait it out. She kept on bugging me (God working through her) to go up and share with everyone, but I didn't feel it was necessary.

Kept bugging me.. and then I resigned and went up. And told a fairly good, confident testimony.

I can't recall EXACTLY what Chloe said that convinced me, but it was something about how going up on stage and overcoming this fear/complacency, might speak not only to others, but to me as well - confirm and reaffirm my faith, and to help get rid of my unbelief.

I encouraged people to get up and share, and not be scared or lazy, because its awesome and rewarding and, she was right, it did help me overcome my unbelief.

And thats it - God healed me tonight and He's still speaking to me, even right now.

At the end of the 1 Kings passage with Elijah, the people cried out and worshipped God.

I had soaked my altar, and given it to God. He had come down and healed me (equivalent of the fire) and the final bit was the people crying out.

I just realised whilst writing this that the entire passage relates to my experience tonight! Because of my testimony, (glory to God :) people had slightly more confidence and trust and belief in God. It might have been the nudge for someone to go up on to stage and in turn encourage others through their own testament of healing. It might have even pushed someone to end up 'falling prostrate and crying out - The Lord; He is God!'

It was definitely Him working, because it wasn't spurred by the healing message, and actually happened prior to the message (which I had no clue was the topic of tonight), and its more confirmation that it wasn't just me convincing myself there was no pain, but it was actually the healing power of the Spirit.

Thanks God for being so powerful, but also being so loving and kind to bless me, and everyone else tonight with a glimpse of your healing capacity.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

hallelujah


Hallelujah (Hebrew הַלְּלוּיָהּ, Standard Halleluya,Tiberian Halləlûyāh) is a Hebrew word meaning "Praise Yahweh". It is an exclamation used chiefly in songs of praise or thanksgiving to God, and as an expression of gratitude or adoration.


thanks wikipedia :)

but that's it! whenever you sing or exclaim hallelujah, back in the times where that word came about, it was more than a word, but something from the heart.

its a great word - sometimes we sing it to a nice tune but have no idea what it means - its a word that completely is about God.

Praise involves love, thanks, respect, fear, awe and bowing to Him. To me praising God openly is such a gift and blessing, and to be able to shout 'hallelujah' freely, anywhere, is something that many of us take for granted.

Hallelujah that with this new year, I'm refocusing upon what I wanted to do when this blog started.

Popped down to Word today, and got the Hillsong 'Faith+Hope+Love' DVD/CD and am LOVING some of the songs.

And also got a Bible study for the next 50 days called "Jubilee - A Season of Spiritual Revival" - I'm pretty sure its going to be incredible.




Hallelujah :)

Friday, December 25, 2009

compromise

is our worst enemy.

we initially aim high, to complete a project at a certain standard, an assignment, or to become better friends with someone or to help someone out.

Then when the going gets tough, often we take what we convince ourselves to be the 'realistic' approach, and accept the job, the effort and work, at half rate rather than persevering and striving for the fullest.

We compromise our goals, and what we initially had planned, dreamed and strived to achieve, for something far less.

Often we think:
"They won't die if I don't do it to that higher standard"
"They weren't expecting it"
"I don't need it that much anyway"
"I passed, thats all that matters - I don't need to go any higher"

Sometimes we this often even leads to us believing that people don't deserve, or did not expect anything more than we gave.

This is pretty common with God. Sometimes we'll think that one quiet time a week is what he expects or deserves.
Or sometimes we'll say "Here God, $10 bucks is how much you deserve" (not directly saying that, but our actions sometimes ultimately actually spell exactly that)
Or attend church once a week and make the call that its enough.
Or "Hey God, I'm going to marry this person and then try and bring them to you"

When we have fallen into this trap of offering a compromise of different areas of our lives to God, we have forgotten two things:
1) We've taken the situation into our own hands and decided that we know what He deserves, when He actually deserves our ALL.
2) We've forgotten to begin each of our decisions with Him at the very foundation and base.

Pray first!
God, help me spend more time with you.
God, show me how much I should give to you, so that I am humbled and you are magnified and pleased.
God, allow me to give more than just my Sunday's to you.
God, show me the best way to approach this relationship, that would please you.

I realised, that despite saying "I Surrender All", to God, or asking Him to "Take All Of Me", I have so many areas that I haven't actually offered for the taking in the first place.

My point is simply this:
It is easy to give my Sunday, 9.00am's to God - I've been doing it all my life.
So in some sense, I give my time to God.
But I don't spend enough time in the Word, or in prayer.
COMPROMISE
The voice in the back of my head says 'its okay, you've got lots of time to work on that'

It is easy to pray for my career, or education, or relationships, after I've made a decision based on my own feelings.
So I do give my career and relationships to God in some sense.
But in having made the first step, of selecting Commerce, or pursuing a girl, were they God driven and based on Biblical guidance?
Kind of not.
COMPROMISE
The voice in the back of my head says 'your education and career is all about what you enjoy. Girlfriends are about who you like, go for it!'

its all based on the I.

at the end of the day, we should aim to PLEASE GOD.


Consult Him about everything.
Wait on Him.
Wait on Him some more.
Confirm with Him.
and Do what he wants you to do, to the fullest.


I've compromised what I thought would be enough for God, all over my life. Reading the Word and listening to others has helped me realised that a truly God centred life means EVERY aspect is worked to the highest point, and that we have to look at each situation and assess whether we've done what He's commanded to do in the Bible.

YEP!
Merry Christmas all!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

We all fall short

When you are caught up in the hype of hearing God and having a revelation, it builds us up for (sometimes) a bigger fall.

Other times, we just forget that we are human and we make mistakes and will always fall short of the glory of God. None of us are perfect, and none of us will ever reach a place of perfect spirituality and Christlikeness.

HOWEVER, it is no excuse, and when we do trip up and put God down a few notches and give Him a compromise of our lives, rather than the full thing, we need to recognise this and genuinely ask for His forgiveness, and that we be refined by this shortfall.

That is why we never surrender just once to God, but we constantly need to keep surrendering parts of our lives to Him, and constantly give more and more to Him.

We're self-centred, but that doesn't get us out of the fact that God deserves our all. When we do forget about our Creator and how much He deserves - and we realise that we get distracted - we've got to time, and time again come back to Him and ask for a more persevering, faithful spirit and attitude, constantly seeking self control and discipline, and revolving around an attitude to please Him.

God, if I failed you today, I pray that You'll forgive me, help me get up and move ahead, stronger and with a more determined and faithful heart.


On a lighter note,
I'm pretty proud of this photo :D

Sunday, November 29, 2009

the thing about spiritual highs.

Its quite scary, but we hardly realise the battle that is going on for each of our souls - between good and evil. To me, it honestly sounds so far-fetched and storybook-like that I don't really understand and can't properly comprehend the fact that we're smack in the middle of the biggest war since creation.

And so, just when we feel like we're moving in the right direction and have the upper-hand, we get bombarded by doubts, laziness, complacency and things that draw us away from putting our full trust in God.

Right now, thats me - I'm so torn right now, between what God wants and what I want.

Even after one night of just confirmation, confirmation, confirmation that God is working things in my life, straight after a spiritual high and feeling that I'm back on track, I'm struggling!

I want to keep my life in my own hands because I'm sure of my own power.
I don't want to put it in God's hands because I'm not sure of His power, and I don't entirely have my faith in Him.

I don't want to put my life in his hands because I feel insecure and I'm moving to the passenger seat and letting God take the wheel.

When it comes down to it, its actually satan doing his thing - planting doubts, making me afraid of the future and making it seem that trusting myself is much easier, and that its not so bad if compromise what I give to God.

I can't explain how frustrating this is.

I suppose when you're in this situation, you can only pray.

We need to place ourselves into His hands, despite how scary the future might be, and how things might not work out as we want them to, and how much hurt and pain could potentially be ahead.

But we've got to look further, and realise that this is the way to be obedient and ultimately please God.

So God, I'm asking you to take this situation into Your hands, take the person(s) involved, take my feelings and negative thoughts, my worries and uncertainties away and just simply take control.

Friday, November 27, 2009

YAY!

First post since forever!

New layout and everything - because the past few weeks have been fairly up and down.

For who knows how long, I feel like I haven't been growing like I should be, with God. Like, there's the busy-ness of life, starting uni, finding new friends, the drama of feelings, assignments, exams, holidays - so much to the point that (although we mention it all the time), we forget about God and where His place should be in our lives.

I have not been on track - and did not expect to be where I am right now, with this mindset and 'heartset', if it were not for God just having a hand in my life.

Who would have thought that Julie's innocent 19th birthday, in which she asked Steph and I to chuck together some songs for a "Chill Night In with Julie", would lead to me placing a new emphasis on my faith?

Who knew that night at 1-something in the morning, after the songs and party were all over, that God would speak through Steph and give me the wake up call that I've been needing for a long time? Seriously, a godsend, no doubt about it.

Who knew that the next day, that I would work out with one of my closest friends, a solution to a situation that we've had with one another for ages - a solution that was completely God centred and got rid of the frustrating dilemmas that were facing us both.

God has showed me a glimpse of Himself just in 2 days, and I know I prayed for it in passing one night a few weeks ago. I was expectant then, but forgot over time, and only JUST realised that He answered my prayer.

He's working ! Like right there, and calling it all coincidence would be plain ignorant.

And this is only the beginning.

I've been going along keeping stuff under my own control and committing very little to Him. In particular, relationships, but overall.. everything. I haven't had a solid quiet time or prayer routine ...ever. Longest I've done a quiet time consistently was like 4 months max.

If you want to get anything out of this post, it's this:

KEY POINT: We need to surrender EVERYTHING to Him. Not some half-hearted, wishy-washy 'commitment' where we give a couple words to God, don't listen for an answer, and just follow our own human feelings and emotions.

I mean like being COMPLETELY obedient to God, two hands up, on our knees, giving up our LIVES for Him, like He gave his life to teach and help others, and ultimately save us from sin.

Giving every aspect, whether it be relationships, friendships, careers, education, money, time, our prayers, praises, dance, art - every single part of our lives.

Where pleasing God is of top priority, and only thing that we want to do.

And this 'heart-set' (not just mindset) doesn't come overnight mind you.
To get to that place of complete surrender is gonna take me a long time - I'm only getting back on track. That's why all I need is to have a kingdom perspective and a persevering heart - I'm going to get through this no matter what, by looking at life from above, rather than from down here, and placing my trust in Him.

Faith is a choice, and I choose to believe :)