forgive

Forgiveness is to choose love over hate towards others.
Forgiveness is to choose love over our own pride.
Forgiveness is to choose love over resentment against another.
Forgiveness is to choose love over deep pain.
Forgiveness is to choose love over our circumstance.
Forgiveness is to choose love over being hurt - even if the other person is completely oblivious to the amount of pain another has dealt to you.
Forgiveness is to completely choose love.

After a talk with a good friend, who's been really hurting over the past few years, something in me moved. I was filled up with this passion, to really flesh out their problem.
I felt like they were either trying to be a hero, or being a coward and giving a half-hearted 'forgiveness'.
As harsh as that may sound, the concept is simple:

When there is anger or hurt between brothers in Christ, God doesn't want us to partially forgive one another. He doesn't want us to let go of some of the bitterness, but hold on to the rest; He doesn't want us to sort of accept and move on, but maybe kind of cling to the pain that was caused.
He commands us, to completely and wholly love one another:

"A new command I give you; Love one another. As I have loved you, love one another." - John 13:34

 Another verse I find incredibly powerful:

"...have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart." - 1 Peter 1:22 

They were on the verge of starting that process of forgiveness, but I felt this urgency to make sure that it wasn't the path to a half-hearted forgiveness, but forgiveness that was motivated by "sincere love for your brothers".

There comes a point, after an unknowable amount of time, where blows to your pride, emotional pain, heartbreak and hurt need to be let go of. Regardless of how much you want the offender to suffer punishment, or feel your pain, there comes a point where the demand of punishment needs to cease (or else it becomes unhealthy).

The drive behind this, for me, is that God chose to love us, despite the fact that we sinned and deserve death. That we disobeyed the one who, out of His own love and will, created us with free-will - in His image.
On top of that, some of these situations that arise, though painful, are relatively nothing compared to what occurs on elsewhere in this world.

Of course, the love that God asks for isn't some ignorant, naive, I'm-a-doormat, trample-on-me, happy-go-lucky love. Love does not always mean that you get along with people that you have disputes with.

You've got to be perceptive and see the situation as it is (which is hard when emotions and pain cloud your judgement eh)

It means that you view them as a fellow human being who makes mistakes, and that you let go of what they did to you, move on and pursuing the best possible outcome that can be reached between you and the other party. (Easier said than done, I know - more than you know)

It could mean approaching them, and making sure they know how much you were hurt - without lecturing, but still firmly letting them know (and having them acknowledge) that what they did actually had an impact upon you. It could mean slowly letting go of a sour friendship and letting time and maturity take effect.


I believe God shows us different ways to deal with each situation - there's no stock standard solution.

So, where to from here?
Choose love.