overwhelmed.

Jubilee was the first Bible study I did after I recommitted to serving God with my life, earlier this year.
Never had I done a Bible study for that long, and it was a real period of growth and so much of it applied to my life, it was God-planned. He had my circumstance and my heart and mind in His control.

One of the first lessons was on Sabbath.

That God did not rest on the 7th day because He was tired.
He did it to reflect and enjoy creation.
He did it as a change of pace, something different, other than creating things.

To translate it into my day, I need to have Sabbath in my life, where I take a break from the busy things and just reflect and enjoy God and be thankful for the blessings I have.

Lately, I feel overwhelmed. Everything ahead of me is superduper daunting and just looming over me.
My life is packed to the brim with catching up with people, ministry commitments, church commitments, study.. just .. so much.
Maybe this is how I'm going to develop REAL organisation and REAL time-management.
Maybe this is also a time where I'll learn to REALLY give everything to God and properly rely on His strength.

Because honestly, right now, I don't think I can get through this with a heart driven by my own strength.
I want a heart that is driven by that unending love.

I WON!

YES I WON!

thats me with my new prize, an infringement notice from the Victorian Police of.. Victoria.

Thanks Senior Constable Travis Stephens.

But really, with this fine addition to my other awards such as High Distinctions, F.N. Northcott Trophy, this really tops them all.

..Okay sarcasm aside, it is pretty disappointing to get booked. Especially for one of those new (really tight) road regulations. This one was for doing a u-turn through a continuous line. 

Yeah, ridiculous. On top of that, its a whopping $234 fine and 2 demerit points.

What a great way to end BSF right =P

Especially when money is tight and .. like I realised why we cling to money - because earn it. It's one of those things you feel like you deserve and belongs to you.

So, I'm a little strapped for cash lately, keep delving into my savings account and that, and have been asking God and talking to Him about this attitude I've got. I've never been that worried about cash, about spending on others and stuff - but lately I've been really really worried about money and how much I've got.

But with losing (and finding) my wallet the other week and this incident today, funny enough, God revealed a message to me, even in this frustrating situation.

BSF, John 11 was talking about how Mary and Martha had to deal with the death of Lazarus. But Jesus said that Lazarus death was to glorify God, much like the healing of the blind man (John 9).

God allows pain and suffering, often because in situations of hopelessness, God's power is most tangible.

So I suppose this.. disappointment, allowed God to manifest Himself.

I was asking God (when the lights were flashing behind me, making me feel like such a criminal) for grace and also what He wanted to show me out of this. And though there was a lot of disappointment 10 minutes ago, I've sort of nailed it on the head.

The fact that I am ABLE to pay $234. The fact that I can drive a car, and own that car. 

If you get my train of thought - The fact that I have a computer and can blog this using the internet, all these are signs of the reality that I am richer than 75% of the world.

There are countless people living in poverty, who cannot read, who don't even know if they will survive the night. 

So, in terms of material wealth, the lesson to draw from this is simply: Be Thankful.

"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness" - Colossians 2:6-8

So yeah. God is sufficient as He is. Disappointing as this infringement may be, I'm glad to be endlessly blessed.

He actually lives and responds!

So I've been off facebook for 5 days now. I really want to know what's going on in the world, how many new comments or photos have been posted, events coming up, wall posts, I want to tell the world about what I'm doing - even if no one cares. I want someone to LIKE something I'm doing.


Apparently though, I'm not addicted (at least, according to this massively credible .. internet survey)

1. You lose sleep over Facebook

"If you're staying up late at night because you're on Facebook, and you're tired the next day, Facebook may be a compulsion for you," Lipari said. "You shouldn't be neglecting yourself because of Facebook."

2. You spend more than an hour a day on Facebook

Pile says it's hard to pinpoint exactly how much is too much time to be spending on social networking.

"I can't imagine that anyone would need more than an hour a day on Facebook, and probably no one needs more than 30 minutes," she said.

3. You become obsessed with old loves

Reconnecting with old friends is one of the great attractions of Facebook, and there's nothing necessarily wrong with "friending" an old boyfriend or girlfriend. But Pile warns that it can get out of hand very quickly.

"One of my clients met up with an old boyfriend on Facebook. They started spending hours and hours into the night talking to each other on Facebook. She made some really inappropriate comments about how unhappy she was in her marriage," Pile said. "Her cousin saw the comments and told her parents, and the parents told the husband, and now they're in the process of getting divorced."

4. You ignore work in favor of Facebook

"If you're not doing your job in order to sneak time on Facebook, you could have a real problem," Lipari said.

5. The thought of getting off Facebook leaves you in a cold sweat

Sarah Browne, who writes the Guru of New blog, gave up Facebook for Lent last month when she realized that she had a "mild" addiction to the site.


Of all these things, I have.. zero. Unless you include being constantly on Facebook "more than an hour of Facebook". But I'm not primarily on Facebook, I'm always 'studying' or chatting or youtub-ing or eating or.. multitasking.


Ideally I would be studying, but thats a different story. 
Very glad that I am not addicted though :)

Short of that, God has been nothing but amazing lately (though what am I saying, He always has been).


Started a new devotion book "Hearing from God Each Morning" By Joyce Meyer (and despite it's girly look it is a unisex book thank you very much.)

Getting into this whole Bible study routine and giving God my time and focus has been super rewarding!
Despite being raised in a Christian family, quiet time has never been a priority or a routine. It just lacked.


So really spending time with the Creator has been incredibly refreshing, and I love it!
Not only that, but coincidentally (more like, choreographed by God), each of my devo's have been directly related to the events of my day. Not like, "oh yeah, I guess that COULD mean that its related to my friendship problems", and twisting the message to suit me. Instead, if a primary school kid had a diary of my life and a calendar, they could draw the direct link between the chunks of wisdom and comfort that God has been giving me through Meyer's devo book.


Example:


June 11th - Talked about hearing from God and tangibly getting a message of wisdom or knowledge from God. I had an exam that day.



June 12th - Talked about Abraham and how "no disbelief or distrust made him waver, but instead he grew strong and was empowered by faith as he gave praise and glory to God". I had actually begun to start doubting and losing a little bit of steam since Jubilee the night before. Also exams sort of pull you away from God a little.


June 16th - So, I'd been literally learning. Not cramming. Learning. For the first time, Business Finance. In 1 and a half days, I tried to learn the entire course. Today was the day of the exam. And I was utterly exhausted, physically and mentally, and exceedingly stressed.
What did today's devo talk about? "The Source of Your Strength". All I did was smile and pray and everything left me. I honestly believe it was God's peace and comfort coming over me, but it was also a combination of the "there's not much more I can learn, I've hit a wall" resignation.


At the same time, I've been having this nagging question of how to love others. And through BSF and studying John, through reading "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris, listening to sermons about Evangelism, and through prayer, God keeps repeating the message that it comes back to the cross - the life and death and resurrection of Christ. To love like He did, through his actions and sacrifice that He made for us. That's how to love.


And God has really engraved that into my mind and heart lately, "THIS is how to love, Ashley".


So definitely something I have to try and work at, persistently, everyday - to love humbly, and serve everyone around me.


What a great God though, worth my time, my effort, my life, because He gave His for mine.




Continually thankful,


Ash

it changes everything.

So I finished my 50 day Bible study, "Jubilee" and I've got to say that the past 50 days really HAVE brought about spiritual renewal!


God took the study and my life circumstances, and caused them to align PERFECTLY. Whether the focus for the week was Redemption, Forgiveness, Healing, Sabbath, Justice or Proclamation, I can't explain how each of those topics and verses and studies came at the exact time when I needed to be refreshed, challenged or comforted.

Wow.

I was looking for a new book and stumbled on this one called "Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God" by a pastor by the name of Francis Chan. Must be good if its by a Chan right? :)

But theres a few lines in the blurb that caught my eye, and I really want to read and reflect on what this pastor has to say;

"God is calling you to a passionate love relationship with Himself. Because the answer to religious complacency isn’t working harder at a list of do’s and don’ts—it’s falling in love with God. And once you encounter His love, as Francis describes it, you will never be the same. Because when you’re wildly in love with someone, it changes everything."


Even though God has really shown that He is a living and responsive God these past weeks, I constantly find that my actions aren't pleasing to Him.


And I've been asking myself, "WHY am I doing this.. WHY did I say that... WHY am I thinking that?"
And I've come to the conclusion that I've somewhat lost the spirit of thanksgiving and humility that we should have, knowing who the Creator is, and the incredible sacrifice and love that He's shown to you and me.


At the very root of it, is that I'm not wildly in love with God. Many areas of my life are still dominated by self-interest! 


I can understand why 'when you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything' - from a human perspective, when a husband and wife, or even girlfriend and boyfriend love one another - their lives completely change! 


Their entire schedules get altered to spend as much time as possible with one another. They constantly talk, and give to one another and have each other in their thoughts.


And for a God that has loved us infinitely more, He is someone I need to strive to be with, and someone that I need to be willing to flip head over heels in love with. I want to experience and respond to this love that changes everything.


I'll have to hit up Koorong or Word this week anyway, because Josh, Jeff and Jesse are getting baptised.
Words can't even express the joy that comes from knowing this - I'm so excited for these three young men of God :)

2 Samuel 24:24

"I will not sacrifice to the LORD my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing."

Incredible

Sermon 4-27-08 Nick Vujicic from Highlands Church on Vimeo.

He never fails

When we sin, we should be quick to address it and confess! Don't beat yourself up senseless with guilt and depression - that is how satan gains a hold on our lives, through those feelings.

Although we should feel guilty for sinning, and that we have failed our God, realise that YOU have been saved and redeemed by His death.

At the same time, we shouldn't brush it off so quickly that the effect and consequences of our sin are dulled - taking our victory in Christ for granted.

We have to strike a balance!

Be truly convicted, then confess earnestly, then be motivated, and eager to please God, and  - and give Him control of that area or that particular sin. Rely on His strength, not your own.

Satan only attacks us and tempts us when we are moving closer to our Lord - so rejoice that the devil finds your pursuit and desire to submit to God a threat!

Don't give in, but rely even more upon His strength - because He never fails.

Ever.